In the new series, Kevin Can F Himself, the lead character of the series is asked how she’s doing. Her response is, nobody really cares, that’s just something people ask to be polite. Well, nobody asked, but this is an article about how I’ve been doing.
For the last few weeks I’ve been in a bit of a rut. It’s not like I’ve been in a nonstop bad mood or have been crying 24/7. I’ve had moments of feeling okay here and there, but overall, for the most part, I’ve just haven’t felt that great. I don’t know, maybe it’s because my absolute favorite thing in this world has returned, Broadway, and I still have yet to see a show.
I look back to a year ago, and remember also feeling a bit blue this time of the year as well. Unlike last year though, I now feel comfortable enough to go somewhere besides the grocery store. After my first visit back to the store Target (after not going there for over a year), I was so overjoyed with happiness it was like I won a contest or something. It’s the small things now that are kind of like everything.
Most people have at least one friend. I used to have friends, but I haven’t for a while. I’ve talked about this topic before on my blog, check out the “Friendship” category on my blog for a more in depth look at how losing my friendships affected me.
It makes me super sad to think that I will probably never again have a friend, but the truth is at a certain point in life making new friends is just difficult. I forgot exactly how the joke went, but on the show Seinfeld, Jerry says something about how friendships are like applying for a job. He says at a certain point in one’s life the friends you have are the friends you have, and for those interested in becoming a new friend of yours, don’t bother to apply, for all the positions are filled. Despite all of the sadness that I still to this day feel from my broken friendships, I was getting by before life went on pause. I was still putting one foot in front of the other and getting out there and trying to live.
I always used to say I just have to make it to this Broadway show or that Broadway show. Broadway shows over the years have become my lifeline, my friend. Spending a day in the city and seeing a Broadway show had been a part of my life for twenty years before Broadway shut down. I haven’t seen a show on Broadway since November of 2019, and despite almost two years having gone by since then, that day, the last time I saw a show on Broadway has never left me. Despite so much time having gone by since that day, to me, it still feels like yesterday.
Broadway means so much to me. It’s everything. Broadway shows have helped me over the years to get from one day to the next, from one month to the next, from one year to the next. It gave me something to look forward to, something to be interested in. It’s the one thing in my life that has never left me. Broadway has been that constant thing in my life that has always been there for me. I’m hoping with a trip to the city and seeing a show that I will feel a bit better about life again because if there’s one thing that can help get me out of a rut and feeling down, it’s a Broadway show.
Even though I’ve seen better days, I’m okay, I’m just sad at the moment. Hopefully in time, things will feel better, calmer. I look forward to those better, calmer days. I look forward to seeing my friend, Broadway, again. Until that time arrives, I guess I’ll just have to get through these hard, sad, and depressing days now until those better days are here again.
Thanks for listening, and, as always, thanks so much for reading.